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Madman quote of the day, ”You know they could make drugs out of my DNA. I could power whole cities in Eastern Europe”

25 cromwell Street.

I can’t remember am I allowed to talk about him being mental or is it a secret? He is in Wales?

We’re on our way. We are getting a boat!

Do it with abandon.

Said like: ort a LAN.          Really juicy.

Alex turner likes bell bottoms right?

Michael stole one when you were in the bathroom. He said not to tell you. Now he is obsessed with them.

Oi buttons! Cigarette?

Cuba is wonderful. Ducks chase us at mealtimes, girls laugh at us, we only drink mojitos. Tom thinks he has dengue fever

Go to bed.

uuuh jealousy.drool. i’m doing the dukan diet – just ham for 3 days. Oh and yoghurt. And a spoon of oats. Sigh. lost 3kgs though!

There’s a street dance version of one flew over the cuckoo’s nest. It’s called insane in the brain. check it.

Oh blast you to hell and back again.

How does the little mermaid song that makes your dad cry go? Its about kissing and crying and it happens on a lagoon in a boat.

Coming. She’s flapping.

I bought you the most hysterical and useless wicker bag in panama. John and i spent £100 on wicker.

It is horrible but i like it like that.

Oh my god my text message that put deipnosophy in the context of a mid 20th century  upper class snob didn’t send to you. This is the low point of my life.

My dad has just walked into my work barefoot.

Hysterical laughing in bed on my own.

I’m going to paint that, it will be my masterpiece.

Darling I'm going to be in clerkenwell at 1pm tomorrow having just interviewed the president of the royal academy. Where will you be?

I like looking after you it makes me feel important.

Eeurghhh how could you. Naah joking babes, it’s all banter! I am the bantersaurus rex!

‘Women have the super seduction thing gwanin’ , wise words being thrown around the sexual health clinic.

Don’t bring him, he’ll only get excited then try and top himself.

Always hoping. Forever disappointed

They are a nefarious old bunch them dog walkers.

John described you as ‘an evangelical harpy in leopard print rummaging in our bin’ obviously that’s before he knew it was you

Feel guilty. Am on sofa. Feeling thin. Let’s get new jobs.

Andy has some ‘little shirts’ he would love to show you.