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Label ferme, rue peletier, courtyard bar mandarin oriental, grazie, mercie in nopi, plus bar at plaza athenee. Have fun!

Come for 1 and I’ll Russell us up some lunch.

Dear ms hart. Here’s a little reminder of your 11am-12pm order. It will be delivered by Andrew in courgette van LT57FYE you have no missing items.

Why don’t you open a florist?

What the fuck is made in Chelsea?

What was that shop that sells everything that might sell bubble wrap?


Oh my god they are charging me £40

Boy George is here he looks like Jabba the hutt fucked a trucker and ate caesium for twelve years.

Oh jungle will solve all.

There seems to be some kind of medieval pirate sex conference going on in my hotel. I’m really worried I look like I’m part of it.

Of course. Please. Now.

Alright love, sorry my phone has decided to ruin my life.

Madman quote of the day, ”You know they could make drugs out of my DNA. I could power whole cities in Eastern Europe”

25 cromwell Street.

I can’t remember am I allowed to talk about him being mental or is it a secret? He is in Wales?

We’re on our way. We are getting a boat!

Do it with abandon.

Said like: ort a LAN.          Really juicy.

Alex turner likes bell bottoms right?

Michael stole one when you were in the bathroom. He said not to tell you. Now he is obsessed with them.

Oi buttons! Cigarette?

Cuba is wonderful. Ducks chase us at mealtimes, girls laugh at us, we only drink mojitos. Tom thinks he has dengue fever

Go to bed.

uuuh jealousy.drool. i’m doing the dukan diet – just ham for 3 days. Oh and yoghurt. And a spoon of oats. Sigh. lost 3kgs though!

There’s a street dance version of one flew over the cuckoo’s nest. It’s called insane in the brain. check it.

Oh blast you to hell and back again.

How does the little mermaid song that makes your dad cry go? Its about kissing and crying and it happens on a lagoon in a boat.

Coming. She’s flapping.

I bought you the most hysterical and useless wicker bag in panama. John and i spent £100 on wicker.

It is horrible but i like it like that.